Why do I doubt?

Last week I was working on the books for Project Yesu, and I noticed that Mallory was getting close to getting behind in her “100 Day Challenge”. Immediately I started thinking, ‘what can I do?’ ‘who can I email?’ ‘how do I help her reach her goal?’. Then I got a phone call from the mom of a young man who Mallory had met when she spoke about Project Yesu at a local church recently. She asked if I was going to be around because her son wanted to drop something off to me for Mallory. About an hour later they came by my office, and this young man came in to my office, and quickly dropped something on my desk and left, obviously embarrassed. I spent a few minutes talking with him and his mom and then they left. I took the envelope and put in near my bag so I wouldn’t forget to bring it home to Mallory. As I was packing up and getting ready to leave for the day, the envelope fell on the ground and as I picked it up I looked inside. What I saw blew me away, I just sat down and cried. Inside the envelope was $150. This sweet young man, who is the same age as Mallory, had taken money out of his own savings account to help Mallory. I just looked up and said, “ok God, I get it, why do I doubt?”

Over and over God has proven that He is with us, that what Mallory is doing through Project Yesu is exactly what He wants her to be doing, He continually places people and opportunities in our path, He continually provides. Mallory gets it, she doesn’t worry when she sets her goals, she doesn’t stress whether or not she’ll raise enough money, she doesn’t hesitate for one moment when a new “need” is presented to us, she just has faith that He will provide.

I wish my faith was as strong as my 12 year old’s, I wish I could walk in complete faith that He is in control like she does.

Luke 18:17 says, “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

The faith of a child, void of doubt that we as adults have from disappointment, bitterness and pain. That is my prayer today, and everyday.

One day I pray that Mallory realizes how much she has changed me, my faith, my life by simply living in faith and not allowing doubt to push it out. So now when I start to worry, I hear her voice saying “why do you worry Mom, God’s got this”

-Rory